Finals

Stupid COLT 1210 Final tomorrow - 10 identification questions, cumulative i.e. read and remember everything we did this semester. Started yesterday, been reading Jacques Derriblah, Kant the C*nt, Spitvak, Hegel Bagel, Plato Potato, Aristotle the Turtle - all my old enemies of the semester. But have already forgotten .

All jumbled up inside. Allegory of the Cave, stare at sun, eyes painful, unable to adjust to new knowledge etc. Speech is son, writing is orphan. Patricide. Pharmakon. Remedy. Poison. One is not born a woman but rather, becomes one. Lesbians are not women. Beauty. Judgment. Taste. Interest. Master and Slave. Consciousness. No violence, still slave. Commitment. Inside and outside. Form. There is no outside of the text? Sun. Heliotrope. Turning around the sun. Metaphor. And Metonymy. Signifier and Signified. Literature before resistance, or resistance before Literature? Subaltern. Can they speak?

And I've been borderline so I need an A on this final. Win already.

Steph and Nick have gone home so I have usurped the former's room. Conclusion is solitude doesn't guarantee productivity. Sounds emo but I am not, just quite saturated with a whole lot of nonsense in brain. Ah. I think, I am. Je pense, donc je suis. I am sitting here, in front of Steph's reading light, typing this. But how should I know that I am typing this? Because I think. No, nobody can deny that I am thinking. Therefore I must exist. What about the tasty biscuits in front of me? My senses tell me they are there. Therefore I judge that they are there.

But ah, judgment. Kant. One judges that the sun is beautiful, but not because one has an interest in it. Free beauty, or something. Purposiveness without purpose.

But purposiveness without purpose? Committed art? Form within and content without. Doesn't it suck then? Reactionary writers?

But writing. Orphan. Pharmakon. Poison. They shouldn't give us books then, for this class, since writing makes us false wise men and women.

But do men and women exist? Social construct? What is a lesbian if not a woman or man? Marx - the "people" fight for their groups, not for themselves. No subjects. Women not encouraged to do their own thingamajig. Divisive. They belong to men. So women think - wth. Less individualism better? With divisions come classes? Homosexuals inferior to heterosexuals because of divisions?

History of sexuality. Speech. Power exerts itself by discourse. Labels, categories, assigned.

Power not in the hands of one. Pervasive power. Institutions.

Yawn. enough.

In the meantime, other things swirling in my mind along with the rest of the trash: rara aaa, romaromama, gaga ohlala...